Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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