just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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