White coat. Heels.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
