My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
