i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
