I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
