He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
