im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
