he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
