6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
