YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Semen is not good for contacts.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
