the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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