Can Purell be used as lube?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I love having hate sex.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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