Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she looked like the before picture.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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