two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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