if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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