boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
