We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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