You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
