i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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