Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
