It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
