I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
