everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
