he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i think im in europe. pls send help
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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