Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
