U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
