Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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