the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
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When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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