I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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