Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i think i just lost a toe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
