I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
