arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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