Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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