Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
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We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
And then he peed in my hair
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