u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize