but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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