I think i peed on brittanys purse
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
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We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.