somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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