none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now