Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize