She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...