So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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