The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize