I love black thongs
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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