You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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