We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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