i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
