somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
