Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
