just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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