I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
