I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
