Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
