did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
