you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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