Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
