3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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