Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
