She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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