i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
