Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
