I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
