Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
