I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
