More tranny stories later!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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